trickle on

The pool was sparkling fresh. The pool’s water was crystal all the way to the bottom. The banks hugged it like a dear child, and the rocks and water played with one another rolling and tumbling and laughing together.
A family of deer would come along and sip politely from the refreshing source and gratefully go on there way. The birds would sit in the trees and gaze at the shimmering liquid and soak in all of it’s beauty.
But then one day, a hippo found the pool. he charged in to selfishly take in the water and cover himself in it. But not for a mere bath before he moved on, to soak and sit. He stirred up the mud that was resting peacefully on the bottom and climbing in and out, he trample the banks and the grass that grew there.
He called to his friends to come join him. All the hippos sat together in the water. Yelling over the fading sound of the laughing water. They would leave things that didn’t belong in the water floating there or sunken to the bottom. They would climb the trees and frighten the birds and break the branches. Then they would egg each other on to jump into the water from the heights. When they’d come down, they’d splash and scream and sheer. They sloshed a lot of the water over the sides and muddied the banks even more.
They brought with them stench and vile behavior.
The water is now dank and murky. You might see the bottom, but it is not something you really want to see. The banks no longer embrace the waters, but seem to be running from them. The birds don’t like to look at the poor state of the once glittering pool. the deer can’t stand the taste of the filth in the water.
It’s no longer lovely.
It’s been destroyed and taken advantage of.
It no longer harbors sweet thoughts and beauty to behold.

But the hopeful part is that the water is flowing. That it has come from a better place. a place that is still pure and is going on to an untainted place that will not be made impure.
The time it spend here in the ruined war zone of filth and muck only serves to strengthen its hope and determination to get to the next part. And it serves to make the water so grateful for the time it had before.

icon of self control

well, it's been sitting on my desk for two days.
this bowl full of chocolate morsels.
the old me would have devoured it in a moments time. but the new me has decided to practice a little discipline.
i'm not going to say it's easy. it's not.
usually i will rack up a whole trashcan full of empty wrappers before i even know what's come over me.
that sweet sweet satisfaction of seeing it. mouth watering for it. and taking it.

how human. how value-less. how silly to imagine fullfillment in something and then pretend like it's fullfilling once you have it. even though you know it's not. even though you know you'll just want more when this piece is gone.

and it's not like i'm taking it to satisfy any hunger or energy requirement. it's just for the enjoyment and taste of it in my mouth.

ugh.

so anyways, that bowl will hopefully not be depleated by any of my doing. only the passers by who are lured by her calling.


ode to you, dear chocolate. ode to you.

yuck