icon of self control

well, it's been sitting on my desk for two days.
this bowl full of chocolate morsels.
the old me would have devoured it in a moments time. but the new me has decided to practice a little discipline.
i'm not going to say it's easy. it's not.
usually i will rack up a whole trashcan full of empty wrappers before i even know what's come over me.
that sweet sweet satisfaction of seeing it. mouth watering for it. and taking it.

how human. how value-less. how silly to imagine fullfillment in something and then pretend like it's fullfilling once you have it. even though you know it's not. even though you know you'll just want more when this piece is gone.

and it's not like i'm taking it to satisfy any hunger or energy requirement. it's just for the enjoyment and taste of it in my mouth.

ugh.

so anyways, that bowl will hopefully not be depleated by any of my doing. only the passers by who are lured by her calling.


ode to you, dear chocolate. ode to you.