Bye bye Birdie

Dear Bob,

I feel that the time is right to say my last goodbyes. It wasn't until today that I came to grips with the fact that you're gone for good. I will no longer wait with baited breath for your return.

I feel I must explain the delay in my coming to this resolve. To be honest, I'm not even sure from where this resolve hails. You see, all the signs still point to your presence.

What's a girls to think when she sees your Railroad Tycoon II computer games still lying around? And what about that super tiny Tabasco sauce bottle? You're just going to leave it behind like a meaningless trinket?

I think I understand the metaphorical reasoning behind your abandoning the 25 lbs. dumb-bell. Your past was wieghing you down and all, but how will you maitain your studly physique if you don't do curls while waiting for your spreadsheets to load?

Please don't tell me you just won't do your curls. please.

Every time I hear the main door open and close and the squeak of worn out tennis shoes on the tile, I feel a jump in my throat. "It's him!" But alas, it is nearly always the UPS man. Bob, will you ever come back?

I hope that you enjoy your new life. I hope that your new cube neighbor knows the treasure trove they have in you. I hope that you can have as wide spread effect there as you have had here.

My friends, my family, they all still ask after you. What am I to tell them? That it's over? That you've left me forever. That no more will I have daily tributes and stories to tell?

"What news of Bob these days?" they ask. "Bob and I have been separated for over a month now. I didn't have the heart to tell you sooner. In fact I only recently came to believe it myself. It was just so sudden."

One day you were here and all was normal. Your helocpter hovered around the office while you wore the control securely around your neck. It seems like only yesterday your boat was parked just outside. And then, just like that, you're gone. No note, no farewell luncheon... just.... gone.

You are missed. And if ever you decide to visit, know there's always a spot for you. Not, your old spot, though, I heard someone talking about moving in the other day. But I'm sure there will be an empty cubicle around here somewhere.

Here's to fate, and the off chance our paths may one day cross again...

Cheers.