:::update:::

I have failed to keep you in the loop as far as he goings on of BOB are concerned and I'm sorry.

Basically the only things of note are the shirts that show his back and belly any time movement is required. He's been flying a toy helocopter around the office for three days now. one incident saturated the office in awkward vibe, floor to cieling.

my sales team was standing around in a circle-like pattern discussing this weeks sales quotas. here comes bob. bob and his helocopter. so there bob is... flying a helocopter roughly the size of a watermelon while the circle of sales continues to converse. bob appears as a sort of side note to the focus of the room. he's venturing his chopper close enough to the circle to draw some attention to himself. at this moment one of the head honchoes from our most major account walks in. you can tell that the team desperately wants to relay that "he's not with us". yeah, him with the tiny shirt and the toy chopper... we don't know him.
but to no avail.
there's a painfully tense few seconds before bob returns to his cubicle and the honcho can introduce himself to the team...

wacky, bob. just wacky.
not that i don't think toy helocopters are cool. i do . i really do. but the facts are that this is not grade school show and tell. your fighter pilot helmet was at least silent. this is starting to get out of control when i have a hard time hearing my boss on the phone because the hover craft of sorts that is lingering above my cube is making too much noise.

why?
why?
why?

Bob. you have seemingly good intentions, but are severely lacking in poise and social couth.

oh and by the way, you sneaking up on me when i have earphones in is so not cool. especially when you're trying to hand me a cd of one song that your "band" recorded three years ago. I don't really feel like our relationship is at the level where we can share our past... you know. don't get me wrong. i think it's great that you have so much under your belt. and really, the song wasn't bad... but i was already listening to something. that's why i had headphones in. it's screamingly akward to have to take out the music i was thoroughly enjoying, put in your cd and have to listen to a song you "wrote, sang and played bass for" while you stand there looking at me.
in your tiny shirt.


also, when I'm on conference calls and they can here you saying profane expressions in the background in your typical loud voice... not cool, man.

okay.
that's all i got for now.



our office christmas party is tomorrow. bob's not going. it's just the sales team. i halfway want him to be there, for story's sake... but also, would never ever want to see him outside of the office.

ever.

but there will be food, scrabble, a fireplace and most likely alcohol. it's BYOB, so there will either be a whole lot of it or barely any. i don't think i'll be bringing any. i will, however, provide some nog.

i hope it's fun. i had a dream about it last night. in the dream version it was very not fun. but that is a story for another day








ps. bob faithfully uses the shoe string he has finagled into being a neck strap for the remote to his little chopper.

haha



now THAT'S funny